Mon. Nov 18th, 2019


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How to make Online Social Media Dating Safe

6 min read

Dating has invariably remained the same since the inception of relationships between one man and another. According to the Wikitionary, dating is a form of romantic courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the suitability of the other as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationship, marriage or no relationship.

Dating as a prerequisite for most serious relationships has been frowned at by several schools of thought, and religious sects. They believe that dating serves as the bedrock or catalyst for premarital sex and extramarital affairs. However, the hike of marital wrecks in today’s societies coupled with the pileups of divorce cases seen in courts makes it clear that individuals who aren’t meant for each other and who do not understand each other are rushing into marriage to rush out in no distant time. To some extent, proper dating can help eliminate marital wrecks and ensure that only compatible individuals walk down the aisle to say “I do.”

It is an indisputable fact that people can meet at any time and in any place. There is no laid down procedure or rules and regulations that state how normal people meet. Except in the field of professionalism where such exists for example., the military has rules of engagement with civilians, likewise the doctors who also have rules for engaging patients etc. in the absence of professionalism, people can meet anywhere of which includes the cab, restaurant, church, club, hospital, school etc. and even on the internet (social media).

The emergence of the social media in this 21st century has really made the world so small that distance is no longer considered a barrier. The social media makes the meeting and communication of people very easier, simple and possible. It is a form of electronic communication (such as a Website) through which people create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages etc. Since the social media was created to bring people together, the possibility of dating occurring in the social media communication process is a great possibility. Dating can occur anywhere, but its productivity (result) is totally dependent on the place or platform in which it occurs, and the true intentions of the individuals involved.

The social media has become part of our lives and is here to stay. We have seen life the way it is and we have to deal with it. There is a good and bad part of everything, it all depends on how we handle life challenges. Social media dating is not as bad as people portray it to be. But then, there are times when we met someone on the social media and the result of such friendship can create sad memories and experiences that are surrounded by regrets. In the same vein, one can as well have good experiences from the person they met on the social media.

Therefore, life is all about taking risks, you take the risk and anything you discover becomes an experience that you can relate to other people.

Dating on the social media and how to protect your interest

A lot of people have used the social media to their advantage and one can find true love that will stand the test of time on the internet. 

  • The chemistry of social media dating

It all starts when two persons met on the internet, they start chatting continuously, they both begin to know everything about each other based on the information each party agrees to release to the other. Things can get serious as to involve video and phone call conversations. They both begin to build up an enormous amount of emotion for each other, they actually fall in love because of the deep concerns being shown. They begin to feel too comfortable with each other because every man has this inner part that yearns for care and appreciation.

  •  Protecting your interest in social media dating

Getting married or dating through the social media is not bad. However, leaving your relationship on the social media, at that level is the problem. When you meet someone on Facebook and you get talking, try to make every effort to know that person personally, a little better. Exchange visits, try to know that person for whom they are, in tangible form, in a form that you can hold. 

You see the person, you know where they live, where they are from, whom they are. Spend quality time with them, not on the social media but physically. This is because the way someone tells you “I love you” on the phone and the way they say it physically is quite different.  You are able to tell more if one genuinely loves you when you are having a conversation with him or her face to face.

As someone who wants a long-term relationship, you cannot base your judgements or put your life in the hands of someone you only know on the social media. It’s okay to meet people on the social media, there are no restrictions on where or how you should meet someone, but when you do that, don’t leave it at that level – that’s where the problem kicks in.
The problem escalates when nude pictures are being shared on the social media and then on the first time of the meeting, they both end up in bed. Once that happens, you are unable to have concrete communication with that person. You are unable to deepen your friendship or communication in terms of conversations. What happens is that the moment you meet a person and you get overly excited, you go for a movie and then end up in bed, you are not spending quality time, you are spending valuable time having sex and not knowing the person in details.

Having sex with that person doesn’t mean spending time with the person, or taking time to know that person. Once sex takes the space of communication, it is difficult to know people for whom they are. Sex interrupts humans critical and analytical reasoning.

  • The relevance of communication in Social media dating

In the 1960s; Professor Albert Mehrabian and colleagues at the University of California, Los Angles (UCLA), conducted studies into human communication patterns. Their result states that only 7 percent of our communication is verbal, and 93 percent is non-verbal. The non-verbal communication comprises of body language which is 55 percent and the tone and music of voice which is 38 percent

Yes, spending time on the social media having a conversation with people is cool. But once you want to spend the rest of your life with that person or even try to consider taking the relationship seriously, you must of great necessity spend quality time with them physically before going to the level of saying “I do.”

Recall, 55 percent of communication is body language, that is something you will not see if you leave your relationship on the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram level. You need to take it out of that level because of the talk and chat you are having with the person on social media is just but 7 percent of communication.

Some people will say, “okay we do Skype (video call),” but Skype is still not a physical conversation. Yes, you are seeing the person but anything can be faked and it does not exclude photos and videos. Meet the person face to face, not just once because if you say you are going to marry that person, then it means you are entrusting your life into the hands of that person.

ConclusionFeel free to meet, chat, and date on the social media. But if it is getting serious, demand that the person spends time with you, get to know their real personality. A lot of people say that the profile pic is fake, the personality of the person is fake, but you would not know all that if you get married to a picture and 7 percent of communication is all you used.
The social media is the future and full of possibilities, so embrace it.

References1. Philip Yaffe. (2011). The 7% Rule – Fact, Fiction, or Misunderstanding. Retrieved from  DOI: 10.1145/2043155.2043156

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